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Tower to the Flowing River to the Sea

Posted on 19 December, 2019 at 19:55
Its been so long since I have put heart to page and flowed from my soul. The time has come, inspired by the new freedom I have begun to feel within my heart. After all was lost in my life, my path was dramatically eroded and my direction shifted like waters of a powerful river flowing down the once dusty arid arroyos of the baja. When it rains it pours and so too my heart like a levy broke and set me free. The archetypal tower card of the tarot the ivory tower implodes and falls into the sea. Momentary despair transformed into a transcendental change. And now I am free, taking with me into the rush a collection of what can only come with one in such a situation- the lessons I have learned along the way. A new day has dawned and now shall I wield the skills and tools that came at such a high price but now with a steady hand. Despite it all, I find this to the be glory of it all really. This is life; and we like fishermen at sea with our grit, courage and tenacity, scanning the sea ahead, which is my life. I can read the sky and the air, have grown accustomed to the inner guidance acquired through sweat and tears, time and patience. It begins to take shape, this etherial elemental aspect of my individual soul upon this journey -now manifesting into works and deeds and a new way of being. Measured now my movements and somehow I finally feel at peace. There is not much I have not seen before, and I enjoy this knowledge of what is and what is not, what I seek and what I desire. This mixed with a little bit of hope and luck with breath and clear eyes. Now no longer rushing too fast, for time goes so fast anyways. Rather I want to savor it, I want to feel it all, be here and taste life, love and all that is of true value. This I my new direction as I flow from tower to the river to the sea.

Issues of Time - Hidden Mysteries of the Grandmothers

Posted on 22 August, 2017 at 15:30

Issues of Time

Aging and changing, the cycles of life keep moving onward in their endless progression. As a teacher of chair yoga, I see how bodies age with time. There is a trend in our society to create the illusion of agelessness, to hide or shun the natural process of aging. There seems to be a greater fear of aging than there is of death. As a woman I feel the pull of the collective in terms of appearances, competitiveness and fitness in general. Ironically, more so in my field as there is a bit of a pull beneath the surface to need to stay young and healthy.  


At times, there is a covert bashing, if you will in terms of illness or “improper aging”, where one is to blame for such occurrences. In many ways there are means to better support the body and care for the vehicle that houses our souls, but sometimes illnesses come to even those who have done the right things (diet and exercise and good will towards all other life forms), and in terms of aging despite all our best efforts it will show in time. The psychology behind anti-aging or youth liberation as it is now called, seems cloaked and hides the undertone that tends to denounce a fundamental inalienable truth; the nature of existence and life in the physical realm itself which is temporal. Fear of change, when all is ever changing on the outside anyways, the real truth of this earth plane is an endless cycle of change in response to time. The laws of cause and effect themselves are submissive to the fact that time wears on. The constant factor; time, is inescapable and yet we strive so hard to fool and outwit it. All is vanity in terms of this grand form of denial as the wise king Solomon was able to show in Ecclesiastes.


Beneath the surface, beneath the physiological realm, on an energetic and even psychological level what is at play here….? What does this mean when we see the collective ever eager to cheat death and age? The boom of the pharmaceutical age, whose bi-products ensure a quicker end to the life of the earth with the wastes and toxins they leave behind to ravage the lands …all so that we can cheat death, stave it off a little longer. A battle against the forces of existence, a truly existential crisis (though most existentialist cannot see beyond the dominion of man his glorious self centered existence and most certainly ignore the horrors we force upon the other kingdoms of this earth both animal and plant to name a few).


We seek to be god, we seek to cheat death; and all the while do not see the vanity in this. For those in the new age world it is convenient to accept ancient vedic ideas of being god, especially since we as a culture have ever been trying to do so in a vitiated way through our self obsession with selfies and individualism.  It is the social heliocentric theory;  we are the shining lights of our universe as we go about in self aggrandizement, eating well and hoping to save humanity all like little gods with our narcissistic herculean hopes ignorant of the bigger picture. We say use this cream or use this ointment, even the most green conscious of us all have a twinge of this inherited karmic collective curse of trying to be divine, and live strong forever. So too is the story of the most beautiful angel in heaven Lucifer the light that tried to outshine god himself. Amongst most religious or mythological tales there is the blight of mankind…mans secret curse induced by our own need, man like the coyote who is a bit too clever for his own good always striving for a bit more of that! That whatever that may be…for now it seems we as a whole want youth, health and life for as long as possible come what may as a consequence.


So we have factories pumping out plastics to cheat the shelf life of the products that are to keep us going just a bit longer and stronger than before. Huge powers that manufacture these goods, keeping dark secrets about the real truth; hiding the secret balance of ying and yang, for each life extended something else dies. Our anti-aging creams, our blood pills, our electric homes, our super modified crops and foods. Always wanting more….flavors, time, comfort, luxury; the market selling to the mindset that has been cultivated well, driven deeper by the original impulse for more.


We as a people must wake up while we are here to see the true consequences of our actions rather then pay them forward to the future children we may or may not leave behind. What do we leave behind for them?  It is not what we have while we are here that what matters in truth, and yet that is the way we are living.  Borrowing from the future to give ourselves the luxuries now, just a few more years or a little younger face.  This is the secret truth that is not remembered but for a few on Saturday or Sunday, and even when we strive to believe we hold this truth daily ….check and see if it is truly self evident -see where you are holding your vanity. Look to the secret shown in your own eyes as you gaze in a mirror.


We change, and we have a little power to guide the way we see this change, how we work with it, what we are doing in terms of it and how it really adds to the collective essence we leave behind; only then do we begin to take a sobering look at the truth and see our part in what is our temporal existance.


Always scrapping the surface, a bit of nip and tuck and little shot of this or that, a hint of freshness...forgetting we are all but fruit on the tree of life, with a cycle that involves change and culminates in death. So why then are we living as though we are only here to buy and sell eternity? This may be the biggest product we collectively sell as a people and the biggest illusion of them all. There is now, there is this and there is what we are doing with the time we have been given.


Eat organic local food, consume less fabricated illusions, leave behind less death for the next generation and care for the earth! Place these things above your own comforts, think beyond our species but of the ancestors of all living things to come. This is why the grandmothers used to be sacred and now are hidden, it is the great hiding of truth!  We hide the aged, the sick.  We drink the milk and eat the flesh but dare not see the factories that make them.  We love to look in the mirror but only see a shallow reflection of what keeps us here to see it.  Look deeper.  


The polarization of terms and ideas has been quite apparent to me in this current social construct. The pros the cons, the right the wrong the good the bad; are entrapments to greater realization. The realization that for each thing there is a price and when we stop looking only at our own preservation and look beyond to the bigger picture only then can we truly respect the truth that is time and life while we are here! 



Moon Cycles, Mother Earth, Women and Yoga Flow

Posted on 11 May, 2016 at 18:20

The water element, Svadistana the second chakra.....energy within the pelvic bowl and the female reproductive system, how do these powerful forces relate to the cycles of the moon and mother earth?  The sacred power of womanhood has long been repressed in our culture.  We plug our cycles to keep moving, and pushing through our busy schedules.  The curse....some call the crimson tide of the womanly cycle.  The cycle of our birthing years runs approximately 28 days as does the cycle of the moon.

In ancient times it is believed that woman cycled on the new moon and ovulated on the full moon.  In Judism women are called to celebrate privately the womens mysteries on Rosh Kodesh which coincides with the coming of the new moon.  Today many women find that their rhythems have been disrupted by the use of artificial light, products and chemicals.  We have been called to block our power with the use of tampon...which are made of a toxic brew of chemical cleansers and agents.  We hold back our power and suppress it which can create adverse effects on the natural functionality of our womanhood.

As a test I decided to resist the use of such products as I found myself to be in great discomfort.  I wondered privately if the swelling and difficulties in my second chakra...with my digestion and distention could in some way be related to the blocking of this powerful energy.  The more yoga I did and the more I came to connect with my body through my practice the more such revelations seemed to guide me to this notion.  Remembering my teachers during our yoga trainings to urge avoidance of inversions during the moon cycle...I began to see how the use of tampons could cause a reverse of the downward flow and thus threw off my bodys balance throught the moon cycle each month.

The tides like our menstration are also effected by the energy of the moon.  In the tarot the moon is connected with womens red tent mysteries and sacred woman mysteries.  Oddly, the downward flow is also our grounded connection to mother earth.  Mother....earth and the soul itself.  This rich iron that flows from the body can be used by pagan witches to garden during the planting time.  There is a wonderous power in this life giving power that we as women posess.  The cycles of the moon mirror the cycles of our lives and our connection to this earth plane and our existance.

The sacred blood mysteries have begun to make themselves known.  It is critical that we as yogis and women begin to re-connect with our sacred and divine power which brings us in deep knowledge of life and death, birth and re-birth, the ebbs and flows the cycles of energy and the seasons.  This is the hidden knowledge that the new moon cycle teaches us.

So on the next new moon.  Go out into the night and meditate on the night.  Plant in your garden and ground yourself by touching the rich earth.  Try to one day....and perhaps if you can your entire cycle to not use products that dam or block your sacred time of flowing and see if you find yourself more grounded, calm and powerful throught the coming days until the 4th quarter moon!






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